The Market Monitor Minding the Nation's Business
By Alvin I. Dacanay
For many beauty-pageant spectators, one segment of the Miss Universe competition that they always have fun watching is the so-called Parade of Nations. In this parade, contestants introduce themselves while wearing their national costumes—or what they try to pass off as such.
The last several years have seen this segment, well, “evolve” from a celebration of national identity and pride into a freaky fashion show, with many of the contestants trying to outshine one another with their eye-catching costumes.
This year is no exception, and, as usual, many of the Latin Americans grabbed much attention with their heavily ornamented outfits that feature nearly all the colors of the rainbow.
In fact, they’re so colorful, they would fit right in at any LGBT parade in any major American city—or, at the very least, at the Carnival in Rio de Janeiro next month.
Last Wednesday (last Thursday in Manila), the 88 contestants in this year’s pageant showed off their costumes during a preliminary show in Doral, Miami, Florida. Some are, like, “Wow!”; others, “Ow!” Out of those 88, there are 12 that, we think, may not be as gorgeous as their wearers, but nevertheless grabbed our attention.
Here, in random order, are the Dazzling (or Dizzying) Dozen:
- Miss Canada. If French queen Marie Antoinette had lived long enough to visit her country’s former North American colony today and loved hockey as much as she loved cake, she would’ve probably worn a much more conservative—and much more tasteful—version of Chanel Beckenlehner’s, uh, sporty attire. Would-be attackers, beware: She can clobber you with those hockey sticks.
- Miss Thailand. It seems this is a typical Thai costume—dubbed the “Shadow Play of Siam”—except that the color is anything but. Honestly, it’s probably the color and the uber-neat puppets that save Pimbongkod Chankaew’s outfit from becoming forgettable.
- Miss Brazil. As the representative of the world’s foremost provider of supermodels (Gisele Bundchen-Brady, Adriana Lima and Alessandra Ambrosio, to name a few), Melissa Gurgel—with her “wings” oddly attached to her waist—struts as though she’s at a Victoria’s Secret fashion show, not at the Miss Universe Pageant. (Maybe that’s the point.) If she loses, she can always wear this costume at next month’s Carnival.
- Miss Ireland. Lisa Madden’s costume is called “The Celtic Warrior.” Well, we can think of other names, other phrases—and nearly all of them unflattering. “Too busy” is one; “hot mess” is another.
- Miss Korea. Whoever designed Yoo Ye-bin’s costume must have been inspired or insane. It’s both distinctively Korean and undoubtedly international. If United Nations Secretary General (and compatriot) Ban Ki-moon were a judge at this year’s pageant, he would choose this as the best national costume.
- Miss Nicaragua. Feathers, feathers and more feathers! Those Latin American beauties sure love them, and Marline Barberena is no exception. There’s really nothing “fowl” about her parrot-inspired costume. Good thing none of her competitors came in dressed as a feline.
- Miss India. Rumored to be one of Miss Universe Pageant owner Donald Trump’s favorites to win the crown, Noyolita Lodh channels her inner devi (goddess) with her crimson-and-gold costume, which, we’re almost sure, must have taken a page or two from the Latin Americans.
- Miss Dominican Republic. Holy Mother of God! Take one look at Kimberly Castillo’s costume—a virtual copy of the image of Nuestra Señora de la Altagracia, the Dominican Republic’s patroness—and it may be almost enough to make you religious. Prelates may not approve of beauty contests, but I bet they’ll grudgingly approve this refreshing getup.
- Miss Sri Lanka. Are those sequined petals or cobras emerging from Marianne Page? Her costume may have gotten inspiration from the Caribbean and Latin American lovelies, but its construction makes it comes across as rather cheap.
- Miss USA. Clearly, there’s a strong Latin American influence in Nia Sanchez’s Las Vegas showgirl-inspired costume (the feathers, the construction of the tail, the headdress), which is entirely appropriate, considering her ancestry and that she represented Nevada in the Miss USA competition.
- Miss Singapore. Two words, Rathi Menon: No comment.
- Miss Philippines. Frankly, a good number of the national costumes worn by our Miss Universe delegates have been underwhelming (a recent exception: Janine Tugonon’s elegant, Muslim-inspired dress in 2012), and Mary Jean Lastimosa’s multicolored, rose-embellished terno (see topmost photo) —designed by Colombian designer Alfredo Barraza and said to be inspired by Baguio City’s Panagbenga Festival—that conjures unwelcome images of sickeningly sweet cakes is a regrettable addition to the list. She—and the country—deserves better than that. How about a sarimanok-inspired outfit next year?